Post by *NastyCaptainKlutz* on Mar 17, 2004 12:58:34 GMT -5
A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He's playing in the water, she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading.
The water recedes and the boy is no longer there, he was swept away. The grandma holds her hands to the sky, screams and cries: Lord, how could you? Haven't I been a wonderful grandmother? Haven't I been a wonderful mother? Haven't I kept a kosher home? Haven't I given to the B'nai B'rith? Haven't I lit candles every Friday night? Haven't I gone to Temple every Sabbath? Haven't I tried my very best to live a life that you would be proud of?
A voice then booms from the sky, "All right already!"
A few minutes later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there, not harmed at all.... He is smiling and splashing around as if nothing had ever happened.
The voice booms again. "I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied now?"
Post by *NastyR@ptor* on Feb 10, 2010 15:51:16 GMT -5
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
So, they buried Susie.
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
Post by *NastyR@ptor* on Mar 2, 2010 11:55:13 GMT -5
A Newfie calls up his lawyer and asks. "Wit all dem lawsuits goin' on I'm feelin' kinda left out. How do I get in on some of dat action? I hears dat people are suin' da cigarette companies 'cause dey got cancer and others are suin' the Big Mac company cause dey got themselves fat and all kinds of stuff"!! His lawyer asks "And which one of those categories do you fit under?" The dear ol' Newfie, God bless his soul, answers... "Neider b'y, I just wanna know if I can sue Molson's for all dem ugly women I woke up wit..."